Assume The [Leadership] Position

Many of Allen's stories revolve around differences between the way men and women view and respond to things. There are some pretty radical differences between men and women, (as you've no doubt noticed).

Allen stated emphatically that there wasn't a man in the room that hadn't either tried or been a first-hand witness to a particular experiment. Describing the experiment, he was met with overwhelming laughter and applause from the entire male segment of his audience. It was clearly a "been-there, done-that" kind of response.

I'd venture to say; given a butane lighter and a case of flatulence, there's not a rational woman around who would even dream of "assuming the position" and flicking the switch, simply to see if she could mimic a blowtorch. Nor would she consider it a social occasion worthy of inviting a number of acquaintences over to witness the event.

Obviously, men's and women's basic thought processes are different.

Using a less graphic example to illustrate the male response to a request for performance of a simple task: if cajoled into unloading a dishwasher, more often than not, a male will pick up an oversized bowl, and, instead of nesting it in place within the cupboard's neatly stacked graduated-size bowls, he will inevitably ignore the pre-existing order and cheerfully perch it precariously right on top of the stack.

A pointed look and raised eyebrow from the female of the species, generally results in an artfully crafted "who, me?" affectation of innocence accompanied by a "What?? What did I do?" This is also a popular male response when caught drinking directly from a container in the refrigerator instead of using a glass.

When asked to explain the logic/thought processes involved in any of the above situations, most males will point out that the dog needs immediate walking.

The point is, some key decision-making factors, cognitive organizational perceptions, and dispute resolving abilities appear to be treated in a radically different fashion by men and women.

I cannot help but wonder just how gender differences actually manifest themselves in the Board Rooms of Corporate America, subtly, or not so subtly influencing the quality as well as the calibre of our country's products and services.

Women make up only 5% of senior corporate executives in America today. Does this limited presence explain why on/off switches were originally placed on the back of printers instead of on the top front? Does it account for software being shipped before the bugs are worked out? Does it explain why automobiles are being sold with safety features listed as an option? Did it explain a territorial-like decision to develop proprietary, as opposed to open standards, which is why, years ago, if you installed CompuServe and AOL, along with Microsoft's dial-up on your computer, none of the three would work? Did it begin to explain the Y2K mess?

The female of the species not only perceives situations differently, she processes information differently. Women make decisions using a different set of criteria. They automatically assess the broader impact of a product, service, or action. When it comes to a purchase, they're looking for value for their dollar, a product or service that's been carefully thought-through from start to finish, and they expect the job to have been done right the first time. Even a job as simple as stacking mixing bowls in the proper order so that they nest, thus maximizing allotted storage space.

The male/female difference in perception and response to any given situation, be it domestic or business related, is surely worthy of serious scientific study. An unscientific sampling, requesting an explanation for something as mundane as bowl placement, sees the emergence of a rationale which provides us with a clue as to the workings of the male mind. An argument can be made that this size is used most frequently, therefore it makes sense to have it more easily accessible.

While there is perhaps a more convincing reason to maintain order, the logic is nevertheless understandable. More difficult to comprehend is the thought processes by which the male of the species concludes that it is a wonderful idea to invite a group of his peers over to view or participate in an experiment that is clearly .............uh-oh..... excuse me for a moment, please........burn ointment? For whom? ......I thought they were about to start the Board meeting....but how on earth did.....?

Oh, for Pete's sake.